I recently found this website for the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse (NAIC). They have a section on transracial abduction. It's basically as messed up as anything else on the web, but I thought it was kinda funny how they tell abductors to deal with "racially or ethnically biased remarks" (they never ever say racism). One example: "I find your remark offensive. Please don't say that type of thing again."

Another possibility: "You couldn't be deliberately saying such an inappropriate comment in front of a child. You must mean something else." NAIC tells abductors to "combat the remarks while giving the person a chance to back off or change what has been said," I guess in case the person "misspoke."

NAIC tells parents to teach children to "stand up to bias without starting a fight -- which could put your child at risk." Yeah, like telling someone you find their remark offensive and asking them to pretty please never say that type of thing again isn't going to put you "at risk."

Finally, NAIC states that "positive exchanges about race will always be more helpful than negative ones." Whatever.